ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
