it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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