so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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