Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
