Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
