Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
