I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
