I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
