Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
