I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
