Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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