This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
