The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
