Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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