Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
