Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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