The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize