Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
