were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
