Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
