Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize