What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
