Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
