"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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