Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
