True but thats because hes a fetus.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
