your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
