last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
