you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So vagazzling was a success
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
