That's intense
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
