Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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