My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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