It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
