Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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