he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I currently don't understand fingers.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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