no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
