I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
