Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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