Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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