I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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