Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
