whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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