Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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