1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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