I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
