But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize