u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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