I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
