he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
