listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
