How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
