the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
